Now and Forever
by RodeRozen
Summary: Summary: Harry tells the order the identity of his boyfriend. Reactions vary. Also, feels. - Trigger warnings: None. - Relationships: Tomarry/Harrymort Wolfstar - Tags: Tom Riddle has autism Hurt/Comfort Romance Coming Out Mental Link Order of the Phoenix Acceptance Tom Riddle is Bad at Feelings Addiction Unforgivable Curses Fluff and Hurt/Comfort A tiny bit of angst


"Harry, my boy, are you quite alright?" the alarmed voice of the headmaster came drifting into his mind.

Damn. Quickly, he closed the mental link with his lover, blinking so his eyes would return to their normal colour.

"I'm fine, Headmaster, why do you ask?" Harry tried to put just the right amount of confusion in his voice.

Dumbledore frowned. "My boy, your eyes were red just now."

Double damn.

On his right side, Ron looked up from his dinner. They were at Order Headquarters, Grimmauld Place no. 12. It was Easter Break, and Harry had hoped to be able to slip away to Riddle mansion a few times, but everyone was keeping such a close eye on him!

He sighed. A little over a year more until he could take his NEWTs, and then he'd be safe.

"What? That's not possible, why would they be?" Harry said.

Hermione coughed into a bite of roast, and he eyed her.

He looked at every face around the table. Sirius and Remus, trying to be sneaky about the handholding going on under the table. Hermione, who he was reasonably sure suspected something. Ron appeared to be inhaling his mashed potatoes. Tonks was glaring sullenly at Remus. Still not over her crush, then. Speaking about crushes, the cow-eyes Ginny was making at him were really putting him off his dinner.

Fred and George were discussing something in hushed tones, an evil glint in their eyes. Severus was glowering at his vegetables while Molly fussed over the inadequate amount of food on his plate.

Harry gulped slightly. There was no way he'd be able to hide for another year.

**_"_****_I have got a rescue team stationed outside the door. Go ahead and…inform them, but leave the link open, will you? I want to see their faces." _**His lover's voice penetrated his thoughts.

**_"_****_Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence," _**Harry said with a mental eye-roll, but he couldn't hide his relief.

"Professor, could we have this conversation another time? You see, there's something I have to tell you all."

Everyone looked up.

"But of course, my boy. What is it you wish to tell us?"

Harry gulped.

"Well, you may have noticed I've been a bit, um, moody this past week." Ignoring Ron's muttered 'no kidding', Harry went on. "And, uh, the reason for that is that I've been seeing someone for a while now, and I'm a bit disappointed that I'm unable to see them over the holidays."

Hermione buried her head in her hands.

"But Harry, why didn't you tell us?" Remus asked. "Even under these circumstances, I'm sure we could have arranged something."

Harry wondered just how much he knew.

"I'm sure any girlfriend of yours would be more than welcome to visit, Harry dear," Molly said.

Hermione choked on her food. She definitely knew more than she was letting on.

"It's not my sister, is it?!" Ron demanded. Harry tried not to turn too green.

"Uh, no, it's not Ginny, Ron," he awkwardly said.

"I think I'd know if it was me, wouldn't I?" Ginny snapped at Ron, who looked down, cowed.

**_"_****_Is this going to take much longer? Bellatrix is getting antsy."_**

Harry paled.

**_"_****_What the fuck is Bellabitch doing there?! You know she's insane, she'll probably light the house on fire or something!"_**

**_"_****_You should hurry then."_**

Harry closed the connection, inwardly cursing Tom seven ways from Saturday.

"Well, Harry?" Tonks asked. "Who is the lucky girl?"

Hermione let her head fall onto the table.

"Uh, well, you see, it's sort of not like that, you know."

"HARRY!" Hermione shouted. "For god sakes, would you stop this?!"

"Yes, my boy. If you'd just give us her name, I'm sure we could invite her over," Dumbledore said, eyes twinkling.

Harry took a deep breath.

"While I'm sure my boyfriend would graciously accept, I don't think inviting him is such a good idea."

**_"_****_And why not? My behavior is impeccable!"_**

**_"_****_I'm sure,"_** Harry dryly thought back.

"What? You're bent?" Ron inelegantly said, stumped.

"Yes, Ron, I'm gay," Harry answered, ignoring Ginny' s stricken look. "But that's not the main problem here."

"Harry," said Sirius, narrowing his eyes. "Just to be clear, I've got absolutely zero issues with you dating a bloke, as long as it isn't a Slytherin. But something tells me there's more to the story."

Hermione snorted.

"You could say that," Harry mumbled.

"Potter. Get on with it," Severus said. Harry narrowed his eyes at the errant Death Eater, using his connection to Tom to send Severus a pulse of pain.

"Severus? Are you alright?" Molly asked, looking at Severus, who had gone deathly pale all of a sudden.

Harry smirked.

"I'm fine, Molly," Severus reassured her. She eyed him but backed off.

"Cub," Remus said, his tone unusually stern. "While I understand your hesitation to tell everyone the identity of your…boyfriend, delaying it isn't going to help."

"Wait," Harry said. "You know?"

"I know," Remus confirmed, tapping his nose. "And as long as he treats you well, I'm fine with it."

"Well. Thanks."

"Moony! Kindly inform us measly humans without a supernatural sense of smell!" Sirius exclaimed.

Remus's eyes sparkled.

"Why, Sirius, I do believe Harry is dating the most Slytherin of all Slytherins."

Sirius leaped up from his chair, lunging at Severus, who ducked.

"As much as I appreciate the compliment, Black, it luckily isn't me," he sneered.

"Harry, please tell me you're not dating Malfoy," Ron begged.

"NO!" Harry exclaimed, cringing in disgust. "Absolutely not!"

"I've had enough," Hermione declared. All heads turned to look at her. "Harry's boyfriend is Lord Voldemort."

There was a beat of silence.

Molly hit the floor in a dead faint.

Then everything exploded.

"WHAT?!" Ron shouted. "I mean, no, I don't think Malfoy would have been better, but, Harry! You can't go around kissing your mortal enemy!" He then scrunched up his nose. "Do you guys even do that? You know, without lips?"

**_I am offended!_** Tom bristled.

**_Shush, Voldy. I'm kinda busy over here._**

**_Hmph._**

"Now you're-"

"asking the real-"

"questions!" Fred and George said in twin-speak.

"Uh, guys?" Tonks said. No one responded, because at that moment, Molly got up from the ground, face red in fury.

"HARRY JAMES POTTER! HOW DARE YOU- HOW DARE YOU-"

"How dare I what, Mrs Weasley?" Harry politely asked.

"URGH!" she shouted, before stomping out of the room.

"Well, for once, mum is right!" Ginny snapped, face a strange contrast between chalk-white skin and blotched red spots. "How dare you?"

"Again, how dare I what?" Harry asked.

"How dare you condone his actions?! Don't you remember what he did?"

"Of course I do," Harry said. "How could I ever forget? But just because we're together doesn't mean I, how did you put it, 'condone his actions'."

**_No, unfortunately not. My back is still sore from sleeping on the couch!_**

**_That was a week ago! And besides, you deserved it._**

**_…_****_I guess I did._**

"Sure it doesn't," Ginny practically spat, leaving the room in a flurry of red hair.

Harry shrugged it off, still filled with fondness from his lover's admission. Then he realized Sirius hadn't said anything yet. Looking at him, he found that his godfather was looking at him with a scrutinizing look.

"You really do love him, don't you?" Sirius gently said.

**_What utter nonsense is that idiot spouting? You cannot love me!_**

**_What makes you say that?_**

**_Well, I am- I am Lord Voldemort! You cannot love me, Harry._**

**_But I do, Tom. I didn't say it because I didn't think you were ready to hear it._**

**_I-_** **_what? What are you saying?_**

**_I'm saying that I do, Tom. Love you, that is._**

**_Say it, please. I- I need to hear it. _**Even while speaking mentally, Tom's voice trembled, and Harry wished more than anything that he could embrace him.

**_I love you._**

When Tom remained silent, Harry grew a bit worried, but he had to focus before someone pointed a wand at him.

"Yes, I do," he said in answer to Sirius's question.

Sirius smiled.

"In that case, I'm happy for you, but if he ever hurts you, Lord Voldemort or no, I will personally cut his balls off and hang them from his ears."

"That's, um, creative," Harry said, stumped.

"Yes, it certainly is," Dumbledore thoughtfully said. "I do believe Tom and I have much to discuss, Harry."

"The war?" Severus asked.

"Of course not, Severus. No, I recently saw a lovely little cottage that was for sale in Hogsmeade. I'm sure we could work something out, so that you may see each other during the school year."

Now Harry felt like he was going to faint. Also, he still hadn't heard back from Tom.

"That's, um, lovely, Headmaster. You'll have to ask him to arrange a meeting, though." Harry grinned. "For some reason, my lover doesn't appreciate my controlling his agenda. I really don't see why, it went fine the one time I did so."

**_Fine?! You triple-booked me!_**

**_No I didn't, you just didn't want to multitask. But that's beside the point, you arsehole. You can't just disappear when someone says they love you!_**

**_You are mistaken, Harry. It is just a phase, you will-_**

**_What the fuck? Are you for motherfucking real? I just announced us to the entire Order, and you're saying it's just a phase?_**

"Uh, guys?" Tonks tried again, but Ron started speaking.

"Harry, are you okay? You look a tad angry, mate."

"Oh, wait until I get my hands on him," Harry fumed.

"On who?" Hermione asked in confusion.

"Lord Arsehole, of course!"

"What changed?" Sirius asked. "Five minutes ago, you said you loved him."

"I still do, but that doesn't mean he's getting away with this!"

Sirius looked at Remus helplessly. Remus shrugged.

"My boy, can you communicate with him?" Dumbledore asked.

"Yes," Harry curtly answered. "We have established a direct method of communication."

"GUYS!" Tonks shouted. "Come look out the window, it's kinda urgent!"

Everyone hurried over to her. Ron squeaked, Dumbledore raised an eyebrow, Hermione sighed, Remus looked vaguely alarmed, while holding Sirius, who looked like he might faint, upright. Fred and George, for the first time Harry could remember, seemed genuinely scared.

"Potter," Severus drawled, "I believe you're needed outside."

Harry calmly walked over to the window. Outside, Tom was throwing curses left and right, a manic look of terror in his eyes, while his followers scrambled away, ducking like their life depended on it.

Harry felt his heart break a little, all while annoyance rose up inside him. They had talked about this.

With a crack, he disapparated outside, landing right in front of Tom and in the path of a red curse. When he realized it was a low-powered stinging hex, Harry felt the annoyance disappear.

"Tom," he said, deliberately placing both his feet onto Tom's but not touching him in any other way. "Hey. You're doing so well, love, I'm proud of you."

Slowly, Tom's wand hand fell back down to his side, red and green curses absently tumbling out of it. His eyes focused somewhere around Harry's collarbone.

"Do you want me to apparate us home?" Harry asked.

Wordlessly, Tom nodded. Seconds later, they landed in the single corner of their safe room.

It was a room that was fully round, except for one dent-like corner, from where you could see the whole room, which had no doors. The only way in or out was by apparating, and the room was warded so only Harry and Tom, not even their House-Elves, could do that. Additionally, if either of them was already in the room, they were alerted to the other seeking entry, and could indicate if they wanted company by flipping a switch, though that didn't block the other from entering.

There were also multiple safety features. For example, if any un-authorized spells were used in the room, it would completely block all magic for a two-hour period, or until one of them not in the room lifted the block. Also, all the furniture, walls, the ceiling and the floor had been spelled to absorb harmful magic, so it couldn't bounce back and hit the caster.

The room had proved to be extremely effective for when either of them got upset, which, due to their large magical cores, could actually be pretty dangerous, both for themselves and others.

The only furniture in the room was a pillow on the floor, that could easily be lifted, moved, and thrown about, but was also large and sturdy enough to seat both of them.

Harry had apparated in so that Tom was with his back to the wall of the dent, and he was in front of Tom, still standing on his feet.

"We're in the safe room," Harry softly said. "Do you need some time alone?"

"No," Tom hoarsely said. "Do not leave." He extended his arm and briefly touched Harry's wrist, before pulling away as if burned.

Harry knew touch could be upsetting to Tom, and didn't question this. Once, his lover had told him that touching people sometimes felt like touching fire and nettles at the same time; that it crawled under his skin, tingled and burned.

"Do you want to talk about it or be distracted from it?" Harry asked, ignoring the red and green curses spilling from Tom's wand. He knew that sometimes, a magical core as large as theirs just overflowed.

"I do not know," Tom answered. "Talk about it?"

"Okay," Harry said. "What's the thing you're most worried about right now?"

"You said you loved me, but I do not believe it. And I am mad at myself for not believing it, because you have given me no reason not to. It is like my head knows you speak the truth, but my heart does not want to accept it. And I do not want you to be upset because of me."

"I'm not upset," Harry reassured him. "I'm happy that you trust me enough to tell me this, and I'm not angry or upset with you. I was upset when you said that it was just a phase, because to me, that felt like you didn't consider me to be old and mature enough to know what I was saying."

"I did not mean it like that," Tom said.

"And I know that now, but that's why I got upset earlier. And I was worried sick when you didn't answer me, but I'm not angry at you."

"Even if I do not believe you?"

"Do you think I lie when I say I love you?"

Tom choked on a sob.

"No! No, but it is like…"

"Like your heart doesn't know how to accept it?" Harry suggested, parroting Tom's earlier words.

"Yes, that is it."

"Perhaps that feeling will go away someday. Maybe in ten or twenty years. Maybe in a month. And maybe it will never go away. And every one of those options is totally fine."

Tom released a trembling breath.

"Can you say it again?"

Harry felt his heart warm.

"I love you. I love Tom Riddle, I love Lord Voldemort, and I love everything in between. I love you fully and unconditionally. I still love you when I am upset with you. I still love you when you do things I find terrible. I love you no matter what you do or who you are. I love you now and forever."

Tears had pooled in Tom's eyes during Harry's confession, and he turned his head away, releasing a broken sob.

"I do not know how to love you back, but for what it is worth, I will try. Now and forever."

"Now and forever," Harry whispered. "If we ever marry, those should be our vows."

"I agree," Tom said, red eyes resting on Harry's for quite a bit longer than what was considered socially acceptable.

To hell with that, Harry thought. Socially acceptable can just go fuck itself.

"I'm very proud of you, you know," Harry murmured.

"What for?"

"I didn't see a single Unforgivable being thrown about earlier." Harry grinned, beaming.

Tom hesitantly smiled back.

"No, the other curses work really well. I am glad we thought of it."

After discovering Unforgiveables were extremely addictive, Harry and Tom had searched for substitutes.

They had searched for a red curse that would make the target scream in pain, and eventually landed on a low-powered stinging hex, since it didn't do any real harm, as an alternative for the Cruciatus. For the Killing Curse, they'd found an obscure but harmless, green-colored spell that would put the target to sleep, and could only be reversed with its counter-curse, so the target seemed 'dead' until they were woken up.

Harry smiled softly, before a thought occurred to him and he groaned.

"What is it?" Tom asked.

"The Order, I just up and left without explaining anything. I need to go make sure they're not sending out search parties for me."

"Can I join you?" There was such vulnerability in Tom's gaze as he looked at Harry.

"Of course, but you need to know that it's going to be a bit of a madhouse in there. They were probably worried about me, and some of them will probably express that worry through anger."

Tom quickly cast a spell that lowered the volume of sounds, as well as one that created a sort of bubble-bodysuit, so that any touch would be distorted and easier to tolerate, with Harry and Nagini keyed in as exceptions. Both were spells they had developed together.

"I'm going to grab your hand," Harry warned, before taking Tom's hand and apparating them into the entrance hall of Grimmauld Place. It was empty, and luckily the portrait of Walburga Black kept its mouth shut.

Harry walked forward, knocking on the door of the kitchen.

"It's Harry and Voldemort, may we come in?" he asked.

"It's open!" the voice of Tonks called out.

Harry pushed the door open, not letting go of Tom's hand. He entered, quietly shutting it behind him.

Molly, Sirius, Remus, Tonks, Severus and Dumbledore sat around the table, all of them looking quite bewildered and a bit alarmed.

Then Sirius stormed forward, embracing Harry, who was forced to let go of Tom.

"Harry! What in Merlin's name were you thinking?! No message, nothing! We were worried sick, you were gone for over two hours!"

Harry gently disentangled himself from his godfather, taking Tom's hand again.

"I'm sorry for worrying you," he said. "It didn't occur to me to send a message, but I probably should have."

"Or you could just have said something before you left," Sirius said, before sighing. "Merlin, I really am no good at this, am I? I'm not supposed to be the stern parent, I was made to be the fun uncle." He got a faraway look in his eyes, and Harry knew he was thinking of Lily and James. Trying to defuse the situation, he quickly said:

"I honestly wouldn't know what to do with a stern parent, so I'm glad you're not."

Sirius frowned, but luckily refrained from saying any more.

Remus, who had been quietly watching, came forward, poking Sirius in the ribs.

"Move aside, Padfoot, I want to hug my cub too."

Harry dutifully underwent another hug, secretly feeling quite touched.

When both his uncles had sat back down, Harry observed the other faces around the table.

Molly was fuming, but seemed to have been thoroughly lectured by Dumbledore, who was keeping a stern eye on her. Tonks just looked out of her depth, and Snape was, as usual, not affected.

"There really wasn't any need to worry," Harry said, "but since you all insist on doing so anyway, I thought I'd let you know I'm still alive and in good enough health to annoy people."

Tonks giggled.

"I'm not even going to comment on that," Sirius said.

Molly seemed to have had it.

"NO NEED TO WORRY?!" she shrieked, and Harry felt Tom flinch. "YOU-" but she couldn't finish her sentence, as at that point three different people had shot a silencing spell at her. Remus and Harry looked at each other, before bursting out into silent laughter. Dumbledore's eyes just twinkled.

"Severus, if you would be so kind as to escort Molly out of the room?" Dumbledore said.

"Certainly," Severus said, smirking and leaving with a protesting Molly in tow.

Harry sighed mournfully.

"I suppose I have to face Hermione now. Remember, I want to be buried in a golden casket!"

And with that, he darted up the stairs, dragging Tom with him.

"Are you sure you want me to come along?" Tom doubtfully asked.

"I love you, and I want to have you with me," Harry firmly said, "unless you don't want to be there."

"I do," Tom said. "The casket was a joke, right?"

"Yes it was," Harry reassured him. "My friends wouldn't really kill me."

Knocking on the door to the boys' bedroom, Harry quickly took a step back when it swung open, narrowly missing his face.

"Guys," Ron called, "it's Harry!"

That was all it took for them to swarm him. He got a hug from Ron, a rather painful slap to the face from Hermione, two pranks he narrowly avoided from the twins, and stone-cold silence from Ginny. Through it all, he noticed Tom had drifted away to a corner of the room.

"Hey, hey, stop it!" Harry laughed, holding his hands up in the air. "I'm fine, it's fine!"

"You had us so worried!" Hermione exclaimed, tears in her eyes.

"There really wasn't any reason to worry," Harry tried, but she would have nothing of it.

"No reason to worry?! Harry, there were Unforgivables flying around left and right! You could have been hit!"

"Well, I already survived the Killing Curse once, didn't I?" Harry quipped, but winced when Hermione hit him on the back of the head.

"And you won't do it again, Harry James Potter!" she said, raising her voice and punctuating each word with a hit to his shoulder.

"Ow, stop it! At least give me a chance to explain!"

Ron gently pulled Hermione away. Harry shot him a grateful look.

"Those were, uh, fake Unforgivables," Harry awkwardly said, not sure how much Tom was okay with him revealing.

"Fake Unforgivables don't exist, mate," Ron pointed out.

Harry shot a helpless glance at Tom, who everyone had basically ignored up until then.

"Yes they do," Harry said.

"No they don't," Hermione said.

**_What am I supposed to tell them?_** Harry asked Tom.

**_Are you asking me?_** Tom dryly thought back.

"Look, guys," Harry said. "I can't say what spells were used, because that's kinda sensitive information, but I wasn't in any danger even if I had been hit."

"We-"

"-understand," Fred and George said.

"I guess, yeah," Ron agreed.

"Alright, fine," Hermione acquiesced. "As long as you promise you weren't in any danger.

"I swear," Harry vowed, looking her in the eye.

The air grew slightly awkward, then, no one daring to address the elephant in the room.

**_I'm going to take your hand_** Harry warned, before taking Tom's hand and tugging him over to stand beside him.

"Guys, I'd like to introduce my boyfriend, Voldemort."

**_Boyfriend? Really?_**

**_What would you prefer? Dark Lover?_**

**_Perhaps not._**

"Good to meet you," Ron said, only slightly awkwardly, and Harry felt his heart warm. "I would say Harry's told me much about you, but the berk only said anything earlier today, soooo…"

"It really is nice to meet you," Hermione chimed in. "Say, did you happen to read the article on Legillimency links in The Mind Unraveled that came out last week? I thought it was a particularly interesting discovery, from a rather unorthodox angle."

Tom's eyebrows raised in pleasant surprise.

"I did, yes. It is indeed an interesting article, though the theory behind it contains quite the giant loophole, I thought it was in the third paragraph, where…"

Harry laughed softly, nudging Ron.

"I think we've lost them for a while. What do you say to a game of Exploding Snap?"

"Sure," Ron said, grinning. As they got out the cards, Tom called:

"Don't forget to silence the deck, love!"

"I don't think I'll ever forget that, after what happened that one time," Harry called back, sending Tom a mental image of the incident in question. Tom snorted.

The first time they'd played Exploding Snap, Tom had gotten so antsy from the exploding sounds that eventually, a tornado had swept up all the cards and carried them into the corridor, where they'd met Bellatrix, who had proceeded to curse them until only dust was left. It had been quite the sight, but they'd agreed to silence any loud games from then on.

"We'll-"

"-join!" Fred and George said.

Harry quickly silenced the deck, and soon he was getting soundly beaten by all three Weasleys.

After half an hour of that, he exclaimed:

"Fine, I give up!" and stowed the deck away, to laughter from all three his opponents.

Turning around, he saw that Tom and Hermione were still debating magical research.

He smiled softly, before walking over to them.

"Hermione, may I please have my boyfriend back?" he asked in amusement.

"Oh!" Hermione exclaimed. "My, time has quite gotten away from us."

"Indeed," Tom laughed. "I would be glad to continue this conversation some other time," he added to Hermione.

She smiled.

"I look forward to it."

Tom looked at Harry with bright eyes.

"Shall we be off?"

"Just a moment," Harry said. "Ron, could you tell Sirius I'll be back by noon tomorrow?"

"Yeah, sure," Ron agreed.

"Bye everyone!" Harry said, waving.

"Bye Harry!" the twins chorused.

"Just go," Hermione said, rolling her eyes fondly.

Harry grinned, and standing up on his toes, touched his lips to Tom's. Deliberately deepening the kiss a bit, he then apparated them home.

"That has to be the most original method of side-along apparition I've ever seen," Tom grinned.

"Did you mind, then?" Harry asked.

"Of course not," Tom said, kissing him again. When they had to break apart for breath, Harry gazed at Tom, heart swelling with joy.

"I love you," he murmured, leaning in. "Now and forever."

"Now and forever," Tom whispered against his lips.

**A/N**

**I know some might take offense that I put it in the tags but didn't mention Tom having autism in the story. The fact is, though, that considering the time period and the backwards ways of the wizarding world, it simply wouldn't be realistic to do so.**

**If you have any suggestions or issues with the way I've portrayed Tom's autism in this fic, send me a message and I'll do my best to clear things up/explain my reasoning.**

**I hope you enjoyed the fic!**


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